The story of Narcissus is from Greek Mythology. He was a hunter who was known for his beauty. He was the son of the river god Cephissus and the nymph Liriope. He felt disdain for those who loved him. Nemesis (the Goddess of Retribution) noticed this behavior and lured Narcissus to a pool, where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus lost his will to live.
So it is obvious that narcissism is nothing new, as even ancient civilizations drew metaphors from it. Narcissus was born into privilege and entitlement, praised for his physical appearance (somatic). It is likely that under these circumstances, character and virtue held no value at all. In the fable, the image of Narcissus’s reflection in the water is what is now known as the narcissist’s “False Self”.
But where the fable falls short and is misinterpreted, is the claim and belief that it was Narcissus’s love for himself that ultimately destroyed him. It was not. Narcissists (including the original one) have no love for themselves. In fact, narcissists are so pretentious as to be exclusively obsessed with outward appearances, that they develop disdain for themselves, which they attempt to project onto those around them to ease their own suffering.
As their self loathing grows through absence of nurturing the true self, the image the narcissist projects to the outside world becomes increasingly false. Eventually the False Self takes over and the narcissist keeps his true self locked away in a chamber of his own creation, living in daily terror of its escape and his exposure.
The image that Narcissus fell in love with was the False Self, and it was his True Self who lost the will to live.
This is ultimately the fate of all narcissists. Annihilation of the true self is replaced with a ravenous void that can only be maintained by constantly stealing the self esteem of those who possess it.
Pam McCoy is an author, writer and co-host of Crazybusters
Dr Tara Palmatier says
It comes down to ego preservation (the false self) vs. ego annihilation (awareness of how they impact others, exposure, losing control). And it’s why they get so vicious when you see behind the mask of the false self.