We read a lot about Self Care and its importance. But what does Self Care really mean?
If you are a Codependent personality, the concept of Self Care seems foreign. Codependents focus on the care of others often to the complete neglect of Ourselves. If you are recently out of a relationship with a narcissist, or still in one, here are a few pointers:
Take care of your medical needs.
First and foremost, see to your own health needs. You have no doubt heard the analogy of putting the oxygen mask on yourself first. Otherwise you are no good to the person next to you. In this case, put the oxygen mask on yourself, for YOU. You need it. Go get that check-up that you’ve been putting off. Get your teeth cleaned. Refill that prescription.
Take care of your mental health needs.
Mental health is just as important as physical health. Find a good therapist who can help you to rebuild your self esteem and help you learn to enforce better boundaries. If you cannot afford to see a therapist, join a support group. Read as many books as you can find on the topic. Educate yourself on yourself.
Take 15 minutes of your day to sit quietly and BE with yourself. Most of us keep ourselves frenetically busy doing “things” in an attempt to get away from our thoughts and ourselves. Sit quietly and tune into your own thoughts and feelings. Meditation is as simple as this.
If your body is feeling tired, it’s because you are. Take naps when you can and don’t feel guilty for it.
Exercise not for the purpose of becoming physically pleasing to someone else. Exercise for your health and well being. Get that heart pumping and blood flowing. Moderate exercise releases endorphins.
Stop drinking so much alcohol.
You may or may not drink too much alcohol but many people who live with a narcissist tend to self medicate. Stop trying to convince yourself that you are a social drinker when you know better. Waking up regularly with a hangover is not normal and it’s not fun. Plus it’s expensive and it ages you.
Drink water instead.
I’ve never been a big fan of the H2O, but I feel better when I go for water instead of coffee, diet Coke or wine. Besides, we are all cucumbers with anxiety. Drink your water.
Partake in Grooming and Hygiene.
You have probably seen a person with that “look” of Depression? Possibly even the “smell” of Depression? It’s that look of someone who has been stuck on a Carnival Cruise ship. All kidding aside, it is the look of a person who does not care about themselves. While Depression is a very real condition (see items above regarding medical and mental health needs), and I am not suggesting that the cure for Depression is shaving, there are things that you can do for yourself to help get yourself out of the funk. Get that haircut. Shave. Shower regularly. Take care of your skin. Give yourself a mani/pedi. Floss your teeth.
Be Kind to Yourself. You deserve it.